Slippery Satyrs

Satyrs shagged everything with a pulse; women, men, sheep, goats, horses, each other and sometimes trees, mistaking them for nymphs (leading to splinters in places there should never be splinters). They party in the name of  The Drunk God.  Where there are Satyrs, there is good music, good food, good wine and madness.

Satyrs inhabit woodlands near villages and cities where they can lure adventurers to their groves for some good old fashioned mischief and decadent orgies. If they are pleased with their party guests they will let them leave with gifts. If they are displeased, they will “play” with them until their victims suffer from complete sanity loss or death.


Satrys are not half goats. Some have hooves, others have the tails of horses whilst some are simply hairy. All have pug noses and their ears, although of human flesh, are shaped like a donkeys. They range in skin tone, fur tone (if they have fur) and eye color. Their bodies mimic the Classical Ideal, muscled and often well oiled (at least, you would hope it’s oil). Although their torso and faces are often attractive,  they have thick wiry hair, skinny legs and comically large phallus’, which are displayed for all to see.

Some have twisting ram horns and goatee’s, usually this marks a Satyr of incredible age and these are often the trickiest of the bunch. They carry with them satchels of human or animal skin, depending on the Satyr’s nature, which they keep wine, food and their instruments within. A Satyr will always have a musical instrument with them, usually a flute or lyre and it (other than their own penis) is their most treasured possession.

Satyrs Instrument

A lyre, lute, pipe or flute.

Curse of the Nymphomaniac:  Save vs. Magic. This instrument when played has a maddening melody, beautiful but it the vibrations in the air cause a ripple across your skin and suddenly you are overcome with a burning lust that cannot be sated. Your thirst is quenchless, your hunger unsatisfied. When you try to eat, food becomes ash in your mouth. When you try to drink, water only dries you out. You can only sustain yourself now on sex. If you go without for longer than 24 hours, you will wither. Lose 1d4 permanent health for every day you go without sex.

As NPC’s

Satyr’s do not understand other races fascination with clothing and NPC Satyrs always live in groups.  Satyr’s who are not classed as monsters have no interest in directly killing or torturing humans for the fun of it. They would only do so in order to punish. However, that doesn’t mean they wont play with adventurers, trick and prank them, and a Satyr’s concept of “playing” may fall within a different set of morals than a humans. Satyr’s have a massive sex drive and will find any and all creatures desirable, prepare to have your NPC Satyr do a lot of flirting. They will target what makes a person unique and flatter accordingly. Satyr’s love jokes and drunken parties. NPC Satyr’s enjoy sex and revellery, only if it is consensual for all involved. They will turn on anyone who tries to spoil the fun. NPC Satyrs are incredibly protective of those they have bonded with but rarely become jealous.

Older Satyrs are incredibly wise, don’t be fooled by their drunken states. They can impart great wisdom and offer adventurers directions if lost. Some Satyr’s of immense age can drunkenly predict the future although it is always difficult to understand them.

NPC Satyr’s will give information for a non-material price. This could be anything from a kiss, to sex to a song or  a good joke.

The NPC’s are always good for directing lost adventurers, giving a bit of flavour that isn’t just combat to traveler forest scenarios, or simply are a fun addition to a mythological setting.

Love (Will Give Information/Attempt to woo):  Given wine, jokes, pranks, consensual sex and partying, orgies, innuendo, song and dance, good food, puzzles

Dislike (Will disapprove/Withhold Information): Puns (lazy jokes), clothing, acts of judgement or purity, Tea-Totals, Clerics, being offered Water

Hate (Will attack/Punish): Killing at the party, stealing a Satyr’s instrument, taking Bacchus/Dionysus/Sex-God’s name in vain,

As “Monsters”

Monster Satyrs are intelligent, devious and they do not operate on human morals. What is diabolical to a human is a bit of fun for a Satyr. They are driven by carnal pleasures and are consumed by the madness of the drunk gods cosmic dance. This means sex, booze and bedlam. They abduct men and women  with the intention of manipulating them into succumbing to debauchery. If they do not, they delight in watching their playthings go mad. They are a vengeful creature and subservient to The Drunk God (Bacchus, Dionysus, whoever you please) and will follow any dark scheme that means they can continue to break every sexual or physical taboo. They make good servants for any forest or fae-based villain. They make a good lone encounter should a group of adventurers be lost in the woods and come across their drunken party. The Satyr will not directly attack, they will try to trick and manipulate the party into breaking laws, forgetting their purpose and fornicating to death.

Monster Satyr’s can be convinced to do what a party member asks if a gift that satisfies their lust or excessive desires is given. However, they are tricky bastards and might just try to take the gift without promising anything in return. However, if a Monster Satyr promises anything to an adventurer they are bound to fulfill the promise or they will need to skin themselves alive.

Should a party invoke the rage of the Satyr, their main methods of torture is to skin their victims or remove from them their most prized assets (which to a Satyr, is the genitals).

In combat, Satyr’s are a more physically capable monster with no intention of fighting honorably, relying on sneak attacks and dirty tricks. They will have an advantage in forest settings. Stat them based on character level. A group should be a hard challenge.

An Encounter with Monster Satyrs

There is a grove before you. Within are dancing Satyrs, all of them are blitzed on giant vats of undiluted wine. They are almost too busy to notice any approaching adventurers. They appear to be dancing around a wooden altar. Upon closer inspection it is a pyre with an empty spit over it. Roll a D6, there is a 3 in 6 chance that the adventuring party have been spotted a while ago. If so, the Satyrs will have already placed sentries further through the woods  (although how reliable they might be depends on how drunk they are) to try and get the Adventurers to go into the grove.

The Satyrs will act like friends, enticing the adventurers to join in the party and exclaiming that they are going to have a great feast. Little do the adventurers know, the Satyrs have decided that one of them will be the main course. The Satyr’s will try to have the Adventurers drink their wine and eat berries. If the Adventurers drink they must make a Save vs. Magic, if they fail they will be intoxicated, drunk and more likely to do what the Satyrs ask them to do.

The Satyrs will, after the adventurers have spent time with them, attempt to eat one of the adventurers and ferment their blood into alcohol (which is what the adventurers have been drinking). Roll a dice to see which character the Satyr’s pick to eat, if there is a particularly amoral character in the party, the Satyrs will pick them by default.

They will try to convince the other adventurers that this is a good idea and that the chosen adventurer deserves it. If they manage to convince the party, or if they overpower the party, they will ram a spit through the still living adventurer and roast them over an open flame as they die.

The Satyrs are hungry and lustful, they will trade for the adventurers freedom but the price will be high.

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