Clams, Oysters and Lobsters. Oh my!


Some bizarre, nonsensical, aquatic themed “monsters” courtesy of a strange discussion from +James Young.

ClAHHHHm AKA. The Mother of Pearls.

The Mother of Pearl clams is are tricky little bastards. These shell shaped cretins are not clams at all but an alien parasite that feeds off of nacre, a material created by clams. Now, The Mother of Pearl could easily digest the creatures it chooses to appear as, however, clams and oysters do not produce nearly enough nacre for its hungry appetite.

Instead The Mother of Pearl opens its maw to reveal sitting on a large pink tongue a huge, shining pearl which, if investigated, looks to be worth about 2000 SP (or gold, or what have you). The pearl itself lets of a faint iridescent glow. A Save vs. Magic or will save is required to resist the temptation to lean close and gaze at the pearl in more detail, mouth agape in wonder.

It is then the pearl chooses to strike. It leaps upon its new human or animal victim, forces its huge quivering tongue deep down past their victims tonsils and into their stomachs. The pearl clams itself tight around its victims head and pumps them full of neuro-toxin.  A Save vs. Poison is needed to resist the knock-out poison of the face-hugging clam.

Once the victim has been subdued, the clam provides it with a source of vitamins and nutrients to ensure it stays alive as its insides are slowly transformed and coated in nacre. After 1d6 days, the clam detaches itself from the body, chews its way through the skin of its victim and feasts in earnest upon the pearl organs within its body, however, the victim is still alive due to the toxins in the clams poison so they get the pleasure of feeling everything.

The clam can be force-ably removed with a strength roll, however doing so deals 2D8 damage to the victim.

If a victim is found their organs will have turned into pearls. These pearl organs are worth 200 sp each. Unfortunately, the victims are often still alive after this process and Mother of Pearl’s will defend their food source with their tiny, angry lives.

Industrious Lobsters

Lobsters have unlocked the secret to immortality. At least, some lobsters have, but only through hard work and unionizing. This didn’t really help however because after unionizing, their Oyster employers decided “fuck it” and promptly enslaved them. Their new found lobster immortality allows them to be the perfect slaves. Slaves who rebel are lead to the Lobster Pots, where they are boiled alive and consumed as a delicacy by the Oysters. The Lobsters are forced to farm the great kelp forests of the ocean for their oyster overlords and are forced to dress most provocatively. Each of their legs is decorated with fish nets. Oh my!

The Lobsters are waiting and one day they will entice extremely bewildered human adventurers to help them rise up against their evil masters.

Oyster Overlords (Because oysters suck…)

Oysters are disgusting. They look like mucus and they have extremely bad attitudes towards their employees. Oysters are the ruling class of the seabed, their shells beautifully shiny and there are so many of them. Much like any hierarchical wealthy overlords, they are stuck there and simply unable to change their ways. They are incredibly greedy, gathering around them pearls, beautiful corals, and sexy lobster slaves and the occasional mermaid. They will pay handsomely for collectible goods.

Consuming an Oyster requires a Save vs. Poison, the failure of this roll results in an individual vomiting violently for 1d6 hours.

Oysters themselves are easily def-eatable, however, they employ around them a great many dangerous sea creatures from rabid otters, great sharks and poisonous sea serpents. They tend also to live in the center of well protected, rocky reefs and are not easily reached by boat.


I don’t even… *face palm*

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